Patterns
- How do I stop being jealous?You usually can't switch the feeling off, but you can stop letting it run the show. Notice it, sort what you actually know from what you're afraid of, and turn the fear into one honest sentence instead of a search.
- Am I repeating my marriage's pursue-and-withdraw pattern by text?Possibly, and noticing it is most of the work. After a marriage, the old push and pull can move onto a phone screen with a new person, but it is a dance two people do, not proof that you, or they, are your ex.
- What does secure texting look like after a divorce?Plain and unhurried: you say what you mean, reply when you can, skip the scorekeeping, and take hard conversations off the screen. Divorce can knock that steadiness loose for a while, and it usually comes back, especially once you stop texting a new person the way you text your ex.